I don't do texts

As more and more people want my help to get out of debt, I'm hearing a lot of life stories: who they are, how they ended up here and what they want from life.

After a busy day, I end up quite shattered from the phone calls. And then of course there are the texts. I make sure to warn that I don't do texts whenever I give out my number, but debtors have selective hearing.

I get texts like "I need you to go through my business plan. I'm working in North London, I need you to come and meet with me at the coffee shop I told you about a year ago in two weeks time at 3pm' I can't remember the person, the coffee shop and don't live in North London. And funnily enough, I do have quite a lot of work of my own. I don't have the time to keep explaining, arguing or whatever so I just don't reply, hoping they might remember that I don't do texts.

Obviously the habitual texter, of which there are many, gets cross with me. Fair enough, I appear to be giving with one hand and then cutting them off with the other. I have made it very clear and even asked them to email me but they will still be under the impression that this was different, they are special or we have a special relationship.

This next thing seems harsh but it's important part of getting to grips with debt. If I am asking for help, or advice I need to ask in a manner that would get me that help. Would I send a text to a lawyer, accountant or doctor like this?

If I have been asked to email, visit, or phone at a specific time, and then ignore that, how will I appear when it comes to comes to more complex issues requiring careful attention? Am I not being a bit of an arse to expect someone to take time out of their own day to sort out someone else's financial shenanigans?

I was guilty of this myself. I would spend hours on the phone, explaining in a very convoluted way what I did not really understand. Today I can ask for advice in two minutes, but it took a bit of practice to get here.

Yesterday I spent 40 minutes explaining how to put figures into a spreadsheet. Today I got a text saying that she thought it was all a great idea, but as she had a headache she would not be doing the 20 minutes. Is this a waste of time? I don’t know. She might come back to it in a week, a month or a year but she can no longer say that it is nothing to do with her. She can’t continue to blame the bank, the Illuminati or her Dad.

There is a lot of repetition on the phone, as most debt comes down to the same things. Clients are are unique in their symptoms but the core is the same: vagueness. Getting clear takes effort and practice. I should know; I was a very hard nut to crack.

Learning that I don’t do texts is as good a place to start. I do feel a bit guilty, but not very. Addressing my need to keep people happy has been burned out of me over time. it's not my job to repeatedly ask them to listen.

Yet the debtors are always the ones to call at any time of day or night followed by loads of complex questions via text, maybe this is as helpful as I can be for those texters: not to reply.