Horrible sentence: don't debt

Why do I need to stop, dead, borrowing or taking out any form of debt? Why can't I do it slowly or in little bits at a time?

Because something magical happens when someone who has a chronic debt problem stops. It's like stopping the leaks in the dam the water finally fills up the reservoir.

I began to see how often I asked people to pay for me or lend me some money. I felt how uncomfortable I and ashamed I was to always be back footed by my debt. I allowed myself to stay in the fantasy that somewhere I could keep borrowing until I won the lottery or got a high paying job.

Deep down I knew it wouldn't happen. But I clung on to the hope that my brilliance or my talent, whatever anyone liked to call it, would be discovered. Meanwhile I got poorer and poorer and borrowed more and more. Debt can only lead into more debt.

So one day, I stopped debt, completely and all in one go. That did not mean I paid off my debt that I had, but I did not get any more.

It did not matter how much pressure I was under, I wanted to see what would happen if I stopped. Everything happened. My life started to change dramatically. I began to use my creativity to find ways of making money. I was used to living on very little but now I just about managed to earn enough without having to borrow.

I was often tempted, especially in the beginning. So I cut off access to debt as much as possible. I cut up my credit cards and I fixed my overdraft. I asked friends to not lend me money or pay for things, this meant I also had to stop joining in some things that I could not afford like meals out in restaurants. I would arrange to meet them for coffee instead.

Bit by bit, I got into the habit of never using debt, for anything. Gradually the anxiety left and my head cleared. I was able to live with the debt I already had and even pay off tiny bits at a time, but I did not add to it. Not by one penny.

It became a game I played with myself. Whatever happened, I would not borrow, I would not add any debt to my life.