Figures are for little people

"Taxes are for little people", said one of the great millionaires in a court case. I completely agreed. I was one of the big people and did not have to pay bills.

But I was also claiming social welfare and massively in debt. Writing down what I spent was too ignominious for someone like me. I was in some lofty strata where this sort of thing was just plain ridiculous.

I did not need to know anything about what I spent, what I owed or what I needed. I had no idea about the importance of regular daily figure keeping. That was for ordinary people who had no creative spirit and who weren't as important as I was. I had somehow earned the right to float around in a mist of absolute unknowing about anything to do with money.

I would rather crawl over cut glass than even entertain the idea of writing down what I spent. Even the thought of it made me feel sick. One boyfriend needed to write down his mileage for his job and I hid on the floor of his car when he took out his log book at the filling station. I felt desperately embarrassed that someone might see him. It was too ghastly for words.

This is probably the most common trait in people who have a consistent pattern of debt. I am often asked by people who know what I do, whether I think they have a problem. I just have to ask them what they spend, earn and owe. If they have an exact and unembarrassed answer, I can be pretty sure they don’t have a problem, or temporary problem at most. Those who start to hyperventilate and behave as if I have asked them about the very workings of their sex life, most likely have a problem.

But I always wait until I'm asked for help. Then I gird my loins as I ask those three simple questions, expecting an inevitable waterfall of anger. I have been called harsh and rude for asking those questions. I understand, I was like that too. When someone answers with an embarrassed “I don’t know”, I can work with them and we can start to get some clarity as to what is going on. Without these core answers and the process we need to get them, I can’t help.