Delusional

It's hard to spot when you're being delusional. I met a 47 year old, who six weeks after starting dance classes, decided she should be a prima ballerina. Now with a lot of hard work, she may have become a dancer. But how could she compete with someone who started training their muscle memory and movements from the age of 3? She had no chance.

To others it can seem like lying but delusion is so powerful, that the deluded believes the whole story.

This makes it very difficult for anyone to reach out and help. If I can start to see that I am capable of powerful delusions about myself then I might be able to, in calmer times, sit with trusted friends and start to check things out.

Delusion can happen in many ways. Recently, I was talking to a friend about a speeding ticket that I had got in a 35 speed limit when I was only travelling at 37. My friend pointed out there was no such thing as a 35 speed limit. I so believed that for years I had kept to a 35 speed limit but there is no such thing.

Recognising that I can be deluded allows me to stop and check things out to make sure am not drifting into plans that have nothing to do with reality.

One man in his sixties who had always called himself an artist, eventually realised he could only paint angels in watercolour. The market for angels is extremely limited. He used to cry and rock in anger. All his friends told him he was the best angel painter they had ever seen but they never bought any from him. To this day is probably still trying to sell his angels, just so he can call himself an artist.

A very experienced lawyer quit her job due to stress and said that deep down, she was a poet. I worked with her for a bit. She came to the conclusion that she never read poetry, did not know any and had no intention of ever writing any. She shortly went back to law with a different attitude.

Another guy after years of being unemployed took an evening class in acting. Ten years later, he has never been paid to act, never goes to auditions and yet persists in calling himself an actor. He cannot help with housework, babysit or use a lawnmower and so lives on handouts waiting to get that acting job that will change everything.